In Over My Head

img_8097By Courtney Mithelman

Some of my favorite moments of worship take place by myself in my little red Camry. I love road trips and visiting family and friends, so I find myself listening to a lot of music during those car rides. I love worshipping my Lord in the car and in solitude. During different seasons of my life, certain worship songs resonate with me more than others, and I often find myself in tears and in awe of the goodness of our God. 

This past weekend I was driving back to school and stumbled upon a song that I’ve listened to a lot but hadn’t taken the time to think more about. It’s called “In over My Head” by Jenn Johnson. Based on where I am at in life right now, this song resonated with me in many ways, but one way in particular is where I will end up post-graduation. I will come back to this in a bit. 

As a senior, and with only three months until graduation, stress and worry has been a constant in my life recently. I am incredibly excited but also nervous to leave Northwestern and enter a new season of life. The job search is exhausting and defeating, and if I am honest, this life transition is the most nerve-wracking thing I have experienced. I think that it is important to feel this discomfort and nervousness, but I do not think that it’s something to sit in for a long time. The Word reminds us that God is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1) and calls us to trust in Him. Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”. This verse is powerful. Our God is a God of hope who fills us with joy and peace when we trust in him. 

This has been a lesson I’ve learned lately. In the past year I have really seen how God has instilled true peace and joy into my life. His timing, provision, faithfulness has been ever-present to me this year in almost every aspect of my life—in school, relationships and extra-curriculars. However, the first step in all these things is to fully trust in Him, and this is something I still struggle to do completely. I love planning, knowing where life is heading and having an answer. But this isn’t what fully trusting God looks like. He doesn’t say, “trust me and then you’ll have life figured out”. He calls us to the unknown, where we must fully rely on Him. 

This is where it comes full circle. In the song, “In over My Head”, Jenn Johnson sings: 

“And further and further my heart moves away from the shore Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours 

Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free I’m going under, I’m in over my head And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be” 

When I put my trust in God, he crashes over me and while I may feel overwhelmed and in over my head at first, I am free. God has me here he wants me—with Him. This is something I must remind myself of daily, especially in this busy season of life. I can make all the plans I want, but ultimately those plans may fall through. Full trust and submission to Him is the best place I can be. 

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