100819-08By Jeremiah Mitchell

These are three words that have stood out to me in one way or the other. I think that forgiveness is something that we as Christians don’t talk about enough. We talk about how we should feel towards certain topic
s as Christians, but we do not talk about how forgiveness works within ourselves.  

I went through a tough time as a kid. I moved when I was seven to Mansfield, Ohio, and I thought that things would go well for me. I thought that I was going to make new friends, but when I went to class, I was ignored. This happened for the first week. After being ignored I was bullied. One person was behind most of the bullying that I received for seven years at that school. He would insult me, call me names, and make fun of the fact that I would take my faith as seriously as I could. My classmates would regularly use derogatory terms to insult one another, and I would try and explain and tell them that the language they were using was unacceptable. Instead of stopping, they started to call me those same terms. Mostly there was one kid who started to call me those things.  

I was hurt. He would mentally and verbally bully me most days. Some days it became physical as well. I had a tough time dealing with it. We are told to pray for those who persecute us, and to forgive our enemies, but I was not willing to forgive this person. I resented him, and I became bitter towards him. It was after seven long years that I moved away, and that bitterness came right along with me. 

I had been hurt, and now I was hurting myself. I was angry and bitter. I could not think in a positive way about that person, and even about myself at times. I harbored so much bitterness that it felt like a physical weight on my back. I would even make myself sick physically because of how I felt about this one person who had mistreated me. 

I then started to hurt others. I was so angry and bitter that I started to lash out at people who I thought even came close to that in my new school. None of them knew what I had been through, but honestly that was not an excuse.  My bible teacher, and a pastor of a small church pulled me aside and said that he saw that I was hurting, but that I had to forgive, because according to him I was “a pot on a steady boil, that if the heat turned up just a bit, would boil over.” And he was right. I prayed and asked God to help me forgive this person that had hurt me. I, with the help of God, was able to forgive the person who for so long had hurt me. I felt a physical weight leave me, and I felt so relieved.  

Between my junior and senior year of high school, I went back to that school. They were still in session, and I saw the bully I had, he was down the hall. I was so worried. He started to walk up to me, and I could feel the fear that I had felt for so long well up again. But something different happened. He looked at me, and he said “Hey man, its been a while, and I wanted to say I’m sorry for all the things that I did to you when we were younger. I did a lot of maturing, and I realize now how badly I treated you. Could you forgive me?” 

To be able to look at him and say “I forgive you” was such a relief. I meant it too. If you pick up one thing from reading this, forgive. Forgive, because it is what God tells us to do, not just because God wants us to be nice, but because if you don’t forgive, it hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. That bitterness that I carried hurt me, more than anything the bullies I had ever did. I hurt myself by not being willing to let go. Yet I had to look at myself, then look at my savior. God forgave me, even though what I had done, put Him on a cross. If God can forgive us for the sins that we commit, why can we not forgive those who simply hurt us? 

ncourage-template-08By Brad Laackmann 

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 

Trusting in God – it‘s easy to say, but it is incredibly difficult to put into practice. As someone who finds comfort in the certainties of life, I immediately try to solve my situation by myself whenever uncertainties arise. As I enter my senior year, the number of uncertainties may be higher than they have ever been before. Where am I going to live next year? What kind of job will I land? How will all of this affect my family and friends? Whenever others are looking for help or comfort, I will usually tell them something along the lines of, “God will take care of it.” However, how can I expect others to adopt this practice when I find it difficult to do so myself? 

During the spring semester of my junior year, the Northwestern Symphonic Band went on our spring break tour to Spain. As incredible as the history and the sights were, the most memorable moment for me occurred in an auditorium in Madrid. A couple months before our tour, my grandmother passed away after a well-lived journey. The months following her passing were difficult to process, especially with the role she played in my life. During our concert in Madrid, we performed a piece by the name of “Only Light,” a piece we had played numerous times before that night. This time was different, though. In a time when I was struggling to come to terms with the grief of loss, God was displaying a message through the music. Looking back, I know that the message was, “I will take care of it.” I will never know how our concert that night impacted others-that is part of their story. One thing I do know is that God used every part of that situation to bring honor to Him. I was not fully trusting His providence in my life, but He used each note, each person, and each moment to illuminate the blessings of looking to His plans instead of my own. 

Even after that performance, I still struggle at times to see the importance of trusting God in our times of uncertainty. It is much easier to consider how I can plan out my steps instead of turning it over to God. Every time I think about this story, I am amazed by God’s constant reminders to us. Sometimes, the busyness of life blinds us to His messages. However, He is always with us, He will display His love for us in the most unexpected times, and He will provide clarity when the future is unclear. When uncertainties of the future arise, God has continually surrounded me with people and moments that display the extent of His care. In these moments, God gives us the freedom to struggle, to doubt, and to worry, but He will equip us with everything we need in order to excitedly shout His praises again.  

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By Becca Jackson

When was the last time it felt like being “all-in” for God was truly being lived out? Maybe it was a time when you didn’t care how many people were staring at you while you were worshipping Him freely, a time where you spoke the truth of His word without worrying about what your friend was going to say, or maybe it was even a time where you didn’t worry about if you were “qualified” for what you were about to say or do in the Kingdom. As a college student, even at Northwestern, I find myself constantly battling my inner self over what I want to do to worship and glorify God versus what society has deemed “normal.”  

It was about 6 months ago when I realized that I was unhappy with my life. I felt constricted because even though I felt Jesus’ presence and felt his movement in my life during that time I felt like I wasn’t doing enough, but I also struggled with my image and if I was portraying myself correctly. I started to take a deep look at my life and realized I was hiding my faith in a lot of ways and masking almost all my spiritual battles–the exact opposite of what we are called to do as Christians. Talk about a hard pill to swallow. I still decided not to reach out to anybody but decided this was a private situation for me and God to work through.  

I started reading through many different chapters of the Bible about living out our faith, but what really caught me was a sermon I heard by Michael Todd. It’s entitled, “Worship Starts with Love” in his 24Ever, 7-part sermon series. There were so many good parts, but one thing that rocked the deepest part of my soul was when he said, “Our worship is the only gift we can give God.” and then continued to say, “So many people rob God every day of the only thing you could ever give Him.” The conviction kept coming when he said, “The one thing that we can do for Him we won’t, because we think somebody might look at us funny.”  I can’t compare the feeling of this conviction to anything earthly, all I can do is try to process what those words mean to me.   

After hearing that I began to change and although it wasn’t instantaneous, I’ve made a lot of progress. I’m letting myself worship more freely than I ever have before and I feel closer to God. However, I’m not perfect and there are certainly still times I hold back, but CenterPoint this past Sunday was not one of those times, especially when we got to the last song. Whenever I sing “Holy, Holy, Holy” I can’t stand on my feet because that’s our eternal song of praise to God. I will not be worthy enough to stand before Him in heaven, I will kneel before my Heavenly Father in a state of eternal praise. May I continue offering my one and only gift to Him every day.